I think my brain is fried.
My Monkey Man has insisted on going to bed and waking up at different times for a while now, making my sleep very unpredictable. I am not sure what is going on, or what change in his body or mind has prompted this. It could be a number of things, namely teething with molars, new found independence, or a diaper rash (though, the rash has only been there for thirty six hours so far, thanks to spicy food). Either way, the number of hours he has slept the past forty eight hours has been much too few, in my opinion.
He has slept for roughly thirteen hours per day for many months now – since he was about eight months old. The past forty eight hours, he has averaged between ten and eleven hours per day, and for the past ten days he has averaged about twelve. His nap schedule has been all over the place. Some days he has two naps, some days he has one, some days that one nap is short, some days the two naps are long. It is very unpredictable. And any time I try to impose a schedule, he fights it with all his might and becomes very distraught, so I quickly give up. I do not want to disrespect him by physically holding him in one spot in order to try to get him to sleep. Also, on the two occasions I briefly (thirty seconds or less) tried, it took much longer for him to fall asleep than if I did not.
He is and always has been a very independent baby. He prefers to spend at least half his play time by himself. It may be possible he has decided he should be independent in sleep, too. The only successful method in the past week of getting him to sleep is that I pretend I am already asleep in the bed, and he climbs on and off the bed as he pleases and breastfeeds here and there, until after about twenty minutes, he latches on the boob and stays there until he falls asleep. It sounds easy, but it is pretty exhausting pretending to sleep, mainly because I am anxious it will not work every single time. And the reason for that is that about two thirds of the time, it does not work, and we try again later.
He finally went to sleep at half past eight o’clock tonight after four tries to have him sleep. On top of going to bed late, about one quarter of all nights lately, he wakes up in the middle of the night and stays awake for an hour, or hour and a half, until falling back to sleep. Yet, he has still kept his same wake up time of six thirty or seven, or wakes up even earlier. Now, I am pretty flexible when it comes to bedtime, nap time, etc. Up to plus or minus twenty minutes is normal for him, but a two hour difference is a bit much to me, to put it lightly. I have tried physically wearing him out, mentally wearing him out, having a quiet day, and assuming our normal schedule, and yet his sleep remains unpredictable which means mine is, too.
I am hoping a solution comes soon, so my brain can begin functioning normally. Then maybe I will be able to write a decent blog post. But for now, sleep continues to rule my life. In due time, whatever is ailing Monkey Man or otherwise producing unpredictable sleep habits will fade. Until then, autopilot it is for me.