So, I have done nothing for two days except ruminate about my problems and have lots of extra on-the-floor playtime with Monkey Man.  The house is in a shambles, I have no clean clothes as of yesterday, and I’ve been eating no-cook junk food.  I feel depressed, anxious, and generally overwhelmed about the decisions I have to make.

But, the decisions have been made.  I will terminate this pregnancy, and continue moving on with another side project (that I cannot specify here) which is proving to be more challenging than I had previously expected.  There is much research to be done, and phone calls to be made.

How I’ll complete everything in time, I’m not sure.  The mere idea of beginning these two things has my brain trying to shut down, which is what’s happened the past few days.  However, if I schedule manageable baby-steps, I might make it.

Just to creep me out more, a rat decided to move in here.  We found the hole he’s coming through and have set up a few traps by it.  I feel sorry for Mr. Rat, but I can’t allow him in my home.  I heard him chewing on something a few days ago, and the bedroom A/C vent has been rattling since.  Mr. Rat is causing damage, spreading poop, and possible disease or parasites (like fleas), so he must go.

Maybe, one day, life will get easy.  It hasn’t been so far, but I’d like to hope it may be some day.

And I promise to get back to interesting, non-me-related stuff once this all blows over.  Until then, thank you for waiting for the tide to recede.


3 thoughts on “Decisions

  1. I just wanted to commend you for making such a difficult decision. I just stumbled upon your blog a few days ago and have been browsing here and there. I think you’re very brave and responsible. I hope things get better.

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